Now Later Then
by Newspace19
Summary: Ivan was done and ready to change. Now. Later, a few things were left unfinished. They needed to be fixed, then and there.


Found this in an old notebook. Finished the first part. REALLY wanted to put it all together but i don't have the patience and focus for it. whatever.

I'll do the next two parts yeah.

yeah

 _Love,_

 _This is going to be the last letter, or anything, I will leave for you. I've realized that all this is_ _really_ _… unhealthy, for lack of a better word. I've already told you how I felt about you. Many times! But with the help of someone else I've come to accept the fact that this needs to stop. He… his name is Toris and he's watched do what I've been doing to you for quite some time. Ironic, to say the least; a stalker_ _being stalked_ _._

 _A stalker._ _You've called me that several times and I am_ _truly_ _sorry. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize how correct you are. I'm_ _deeply_ _sorry. I've heard stories about how strong and powerful love is. I would say that it is_ _equally_ _scary. Toris has helped show me what that fear is like on the receiving end. On your end in our situation. It was terrible._

 _I would like to remain hopeful and think that several months down the line we could meet face to face. I know that's an unfair hope after everything I've done for you and to you, but I won't lie about it. I deserve more than the charges you've put against me. But I will always care about you._

 _In the meantime, I'm moving on. With the help of Toris at least. He is an amazing person. I'm not sure if I can say that I have the same feelings I had about you for him, but I can't be without him._

 _Goodbye_

 _Ivan._

Ivan reread the last letter, making sure it was perfect. It had to be because Alfred deserved it. Ivan hoped that it would suffice. He had to hold back the urge to apologize more but he knew it would lessen the value of the letter itself. He cared about Alfred. He would for the longest time. At the same time he also knew he needed to let him go. He ran his hand through Alfred's hair one last time. It felt softer than silk. Ivan would miss it a lot . As he combed the sandy blond hair he found himself thinking about Toris. While his hair wasn't as soft as Alfred's hair, the fluffy chestnut hair felt wonderful when Ivan stuck his face in it. The smaller man had a comforting effect on the quiet giant. It was quite the contrast between the two. The thrill of sneaking around and spending time with Alfred he slept. The feeling of warmth and home he felt with Toris.

Ivan shook his head to clear his thoughts. He knew it was time to go. He leaned down to kiss Alfred one last time and stopped as Toris popped into his head again. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He noticed a wet drop on Alfred's face. Ivan realized he was crying. His eyes bulged at the thought of Alfred waking up. He quickly left the blond's apartment. But between the tear and the extra noise from Ivan's rushed exit, Alfred was starting to wake. Alfred had his glasses on in time to see the closed window. He noticed the note sitting on his nightstand and started to read.

Toris knew exactly what was going to happen when Ivan came back. He was staying at the bigger man's house for the night. On the table was a bottle of whiskey and two glasses of ice. He knew the cups weren't going to get any use. It made him feel better having them there at the very least. Ivan's drink of choice was vodka, but he enjoyed bottles that costed upwards of $200 or more. No point wasting that on chugging. They'd break open a bottle for a happy occasion, not tonight.

Toris tried to stifle the nervous shake that ran through his body. He could usually hold them back but the waiting was grating on his nerves. It didn't help that he was easily frightened too. The front door swinging open and slamming against the wall was enough to make Toris jump. But that didn't matter. It was time for him to be his best.

Ivan stomped into the living room, eyes zeroing in on the bottle on the table. As he started to drink, Toris noticed the tear streaks on his boyfriend's face. He didn't mention them though. He knew better.

"What is this swill?" It wasn't what Ivan wanted but he had already drunk a third of the bottle.

"Whiskey. I locked up your vodka at my apartment." Toris' voice shook with his body. He tried, he did. Ivan was intimidating.

"Why would you do that?" Ivan's eyes showed intense anger. Toris frowned as he responded, "Because It's expensive and I don't want you to waste it on anger."

"That isn't your call to make." Ivan's knuckles were white as he held the bottle tighter.

"But I made it because I care about you." Toris could see his list of options shrinking. He hoped a play to their relationship would help.

But as Ivan broke out in a painful smile, Toris knew that this wasn't going as planned. Ivan spoke in a casual voice as he said, "Would you still care about me if I broke you a couple times?"

Now. "Ivan you would never hurt me." As Toris said that, everything changed. His body went rigid. His eyes met Ivan's with a determination matching the taller man's anger. His voice was firm and didn't waver. Ivan froze at the complete change of character. Even the air seemed to shift in Toris' favor.

The room stayed that way for a few minutes until Ivan flopped down onto the couch. He drank from the bottle but much slower now. Toris still stood firm though. He knew he could drop this act until "You're right." That. As soon as Ivan spoke those words he exhaled shakily and collapsed next to Ivan. Toris rarely acted that stern about anything. It usually because of the state it left him in afterwards. He couldn't stop shaking, his breath was shallow, and his vision was blurring. Ivan saw the signs and knew he had to act fast. He put the bottle down and grabbed Toris' hands, guiding him so they were facing each other.

"Breath in with me." Two deep inhales.

"Breathe out with me." Two deep exhales.

This went on for a little over a minute till they were both relaxed enough to curl up together.

"Thank you." They said at the same time. Ivan let out a chuckle as Toris smiled and blushed. Ivan poured them each a glass of whiskey which made Toris smile even more.

"Can't say no to whiskey on the rocks." "Thank you again Ivan." Toris took a sip before leaning in for a kiss. He was glad he could salvage the night after all. They'd be ok.

Alfred was a different story. First he had to deal with the fear when he realized that some broke into his place. Then he had to process the letter. Then he had to deal with the fact that it was Ivan who was in his apartment. It was overloading for Alfred to think about it. Ivan had broken into his house many times, of course. But this time it was different. Ivan had his normal bag of tricks he used when toying with Alfred and the blond had become accustomed to them all. The goodbye was new. Alfred knew Ivan wasn't playing with him this time. It left Alfred feeling uneasy, unsure, and scared. Before he realized what he was doing, he was on his phone.

"Hello?"

"Luddy? Can I come over?"

"You know I hat-Alfred? You're hyperventilating. What's all that noise? What's going on?!"

"I got another letter. Can I come over PLEASE?"

"Of course. I'll be waiting. Get here safe."

That's all Alfred needed. After grabbing his coat he was out the door and on his way.

Ludwig tapped his foot nervously. He could only imagine what game Ivan decided to play now. The thought of that _stalker_ made him want to lose his cool. He petted his German shepherd as he waited in silence. He worried for Alfred. A lot. Their relationship was strange, but pleasant. Alfred had opposed to them being in a relationship. But they ended up stumbling upon each other several times throughout the city. Alfred told him to roll with it after the many coincidences. That worked for about three months before Ludwig got his own letter. After Alfred gave him the whole story about Ivan, Ludwig needed time. He took a week to process everything and decide what to do next. Ludwig was tempted to leave but he was attached at this point. So after laying down some ground rules (complete honesty, cops must be involved, etc.) they kept with it.

Ludwig was snapped out of his thoughts as Alfred barreled in and flung himself at Ludwig. "Alfred! What happened? Why are you in your boxers?"

Alfred lifted his head so he could look down at himself. All he saw for clothes was a wife beater, a jacket, and his American flag boxers. Alfred started laughing uncontrollably. Ludwig gave him a worried look as the laughter shifted to sobs as he handed Ludwig the letter. Ludwig gave the letter a glance but puts it aside as he took care of Alfred. He grabbed a dish towel to wipe away Alfred's tears.

"Breath Alfred, please. It'll be ok. Let's get you calm and then we'll move onto the letter." Alfred nodded as he stopped crying. Alfred lurched forward to curl up into the larger man. Ludwig looked shocked for a second but held his boyfriend closely. Alfred was always one for physical contact and it always threw Ludwig off how easy it came to the blond. But he adapted and enjoyed the new sensations he experienced.

As he held Alfred, Ludwig read over the letter with a stern expression. He didn't know as much about Ivan as Alfred did but he had a strong feeling that this letter wasn't a game. Ludwig was small wet marks on the letter. That was enough proof for Ludwig to believe the apology. "Does this mean it's over Alfred?"

Alfred gave a shrug as he lifted his head out of Ludwig's chest. "Can we just watch a movie and snuggle? Please?!" Ludwig tried to be stern. He wanted to focus on the situation at hand, but he felt his resolve waver. He groaned and grabbed a generic rom com and set it up. Alfred gave a quiet "yay!" and grabbed a couple blankets for them. As Ludwig sat back down on the couch, Alfred wrapped them in the piles of blankets. Alfred leaned over and gave Ludwig a quick kiss as he started to focus on the movie. It caused Ludwig to blush, but it didn't stop him from wrapping an arm around Alfred's middle. Ludwig hoped that this was a new start for Alfred.


End file.
